Dusting

The dust is settling. I know this because my wifi is finally connected. That and if I use my peripheral vision right now, I can’t see a single box. Of course if I move my head or turn around I can see a stack of them. Best to look straight ahead I think.

I have been home now for one week and two days. In that time there has not been a moment of normalness, until now. If of course you would consider midnight journalling normal…

I have managed to see most people that I love and I will see the rest this weekend. I cannot wait.
My emotions have been rollercoasting, or perhaps the show ride the pirate ship would be a more appropriate metaphor. At times I have felt so anxious I have wanted to throw up. Other times I have been elated beyond reason. I have felt relief and pain, fear and joy.

This week we said goodbye to our puppy of three years. Saying goodbye to a pet is difficult. This is nothing compared to telling your children. I have cried with them and for them.

To grieve during such a tumultuous time has been taxing. However my soul is replenished with the love I have around me. The friends, the family, their concern, their care. Without them I was miserable. Now I am home.

I am not sure that I am ready to fully reflect on the year we have had. I think I may leave that for my next and last piece. I do know it is time to move forward. Away from the negativity that I felt encased by. Perhaps I will be able to look back and see it as a positive experience. I know that there were moments. But for now, the experience is too raw. For now I am happy being home and watching the sunlight catch the dust particles as they settle on unopened boxes.

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